Parents of individuals with disabilities often internalize prevailing narratives about normative outcomes, especially regarding the idea of independence. For example, our society idealizes living on one’s own, when really, some individuals will lead a higher quality, more fulfilling life living with family or in a group home setting. Or, we often set goals for clients to be able to self regulate emotions independently– when perhaps what they need is co-regulation– to feel safe and supported by people and environments surrounding them. It is essential as OT professionals that we adopt a more nuanced understanding of independence which observes its flexible nature.
We need to convey the realities of interdependence to clients so they can craft their own narrative, free from the misguided/unrealistic expectations that currently exist. The truth is, interdependence is far more prevalent and ‘normal’ than independence alone, which is why we must reframe independence as something that is personally defined. What satisfies the feeling of independence can and should vary from person to person.
For example, one person’s independence in cooking may look like picking a recipe, going to the store, buying ingredients, and adding their own creative touches during the cooking process. For another, their idea of independence may look like
searching a recipe online,
making a list with help from a friend,
asking a parent when they are available to drive them to the store,
having someone set up the ingredients in their order of use
and watching a video tutorial along with the recipe.
A true conceptualization of independence accepts interdependence as essential, allows for a natural variation, and most importantly; it encourages the individual to define what it means to them. “Let's be independent together!” is more than just an amusing line from a winter holiday classic, it is an essential truth.
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